I Am NOT Confident All The Time


I Am NOT Confident All The Time

It irritates me, frustrates me, pisses me off, upsets me and makes me feel inadequate and even depressed sometimes!

It stops me smiling, it shuts me down and closes me off and it robs me of my freedom and happiness.

Let me explain…

You see I used to think that I was confident, because I could stand up and talk in front of people, because I was physically fit, because I made people laugh, because I could help people with their weight, their pain, their lifestyle.

But I wasn’t.

Not because I didn’t know what confidence looked like or how I should be acting, but because I didn’t know who I was WITHOUT my confidence. Who was I when I wasn’t being funny or making people laugh, who was I when I wasn’t in the gym, who was I when I wasn’t helping people with their weight, their pain, their lifestyle.

I didn’t know…and in all honesty i’m still working on it

But I do know this, confidence isn’t…

Knowing it all. 

Meeting someone who is confident and convincing ourselves that they know it all is a BIG fail. Confident people don’t know exactly WHAT they are doing, but more often than not they know WHY they are doing it.


A lot of us are afraid to try and become confident, because we think that it MUST be sustainable and visible ALL the time and that we are a ‘fake’ if we try to be. No-one is confident all the time, no-one! Ever!

Something we are just born with

No-one is born with an innate ability to be more confident than someone else. Confidence can only be learnt, the truth is it’s a skill. The more you can practice being confident, the better you will be at it.

NOT being afraid

I remember a few years ago speaking to some of the worlds most Elite Soldiers – who told me that the only difference between them and other soldiers was that they could hide their fears better, not that they weren’t scared; in fact they were more petrified in some cases. The real difference is that these guys would turn up and do their job anyway, despite of their fears, despite of what they thought could happen, they turned up each and everyday and what was required of them.

Given to you by others

Creating your confidence through other people’s perception of you is the surest way to destroy your own self belief. You see, those who get their confidence from the masses believe that they have to please others. Trying to please others is the surest way to suck the colour out of your own life. REAL and lasting confidence comes from knowing your truths, serving yourself and facing your fears so that you can create freedom in your life.

Related to your skills or talents

Skills and talents are just that. The more you associate yourself with skills and talents the more disconnected to yourself you become. Don’t build your confidence on it. It’s dangerous.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that it is ALL to do with how you define it for yourself.

Confidence for me now is…

-Working on the grey areas of who YOU are. So that you can start bringing the colour back in to view

-Facing your FEARS and looking into the dark so that you’re not blinded each every day but the things you THINK are holding you back

-Focussing on demonstrating Courage and Compassion for you AND for others so that you can heal those that need it.

-Demonstrating to people that you CARE

-Showing gratitude

-Not being afraid to dream the big dream

Demonstrate Courage NOT Confidence

Alexis x

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